DIRECT TAUNTS – Kukulkan (v1)
Kukulkan They make sacrifices in my name. I am Kukulkan! I always enjoy fast food. My scales actually serve a purpose. Thanks for shedding light on the situation. Sneaky, snappy reptile. No, I won’t play the ball game with you, for the last time! This place.. is unfit for life. Eradication must be quick. Infantile. No importance. Instability detected. Power to children. Growth perplexing. Size increase origin unknown, however, repulsion level unchanged. Size wasted. Intelligence pathetically low. Disposal necessary. You have a small stinger, pal! I’m sure you get that a lot. Get it together, man! You’re a mess! I’ve always wanted a pet rock! Doth mother know you weareth her drapes? I love fried chicken! Is that a paint brush?! Oh man! Oh no.. Indeed! A wild Kukulkan has appeared! You need to calm down, pup! Oh pitch please! Can’t stop this hurricane! The only training you need is potty training. Plant types like you are easy. That’s all you’ve got, Storm God? All right, gents. Let’s wallop these cheeky buggers in the most elegant way possible. I hope this teaches you to keep your
voice at a more reasonable level! What a loathsome cur! Fetch me a spot of tea while you’re away, service robot. No more dirty tricks for you, rapscallion! What kind of parents would let such a young child fight a war unsupervised? I have never seen a lady behave in such a manner! For shame. ¿Que es el tiempo? Es una serpiente que come su cola. (What is time? It is a serpent that eats its own tail.) Yo traigo vida y muerte, tu solo putrefacción! (I bring life and death, you only bring putrefaction). ¿Que se siente que te ganen con las que eran tus habilidades? (How does it feel to be defeated by your old abilities?) Si estuvieras a mi lado, podríamos tener fertilidad y prosperidad. (If you were by my side, we could have both fertility and prosperity). Le dire a Tlāloc que purifique tu río. (I’ll ask Tlaloc to purify your river). Servirias como doncella de templo. (You’d serve perfectly as a temple maiden.) Mmm! ¡Un rey vikingo! ¡Tu pudiste ser el primer Quetzalcoatl! (Mmm! A viking king! You could have been the first Quetzalcoatl)! Me recuerdas a mi hermano. ¡Detesto a mi hermano! (You remind me of my brother. I detest my brother)! Look at all these worthy sacrifices. My people must love me. No feathers? Too bad. Bad luck, child! I think I have.. food poisoning. You can’t fool a fool, fool! Beats the gods of Xibalbá but not me! I will show you destruction! I will show you fear! Not a lamb, but you’ll do. You are slow when you are big! You tried and you failed this labor. Try as you will, I will always sniff you out. You are rather.. chewy. It’s too warm here! Let’s change that. Prepare to be the god of the frozen river. I like your style. Even your warmth can not melt me. I hope your treant is an evergreen. You may deceive others, but I see through your illusions. God of Skiing? I wonder if you could handle my mountain course. Dragon Day is the best day at Pupper Day Care! Come join us! Human, why are you so serious? You’re not in dragon costume! Bad pupper! I love cats. Can we be friends? No! There were too many of you! Go away! A bird who can’t fly? Aw, so sad. A new world is born every moment. But not even the most powerful god can know the destiny of each of them. All suns eventually die. This god has the right idea. Live everyday like it’s your last. You of all gods should follow me, not fight me! Oh, there will be plenty of death where you’re going. Such a spectacular creature! But so angry. Until now I greatly admired your work. Of all the creative forms you could be given, why a giant insect? I have evolved beyond your powers! All creations are worthwhile. Well, all except one. I’m not sure exactly why you get so much attention. Overly positive and think you know the future? My two least favorite traits. Your very existence contradicts mine. This can not stand. You have mastered only one aspect of the universe. And it shows. Part bird, part man. All failure! Even in god form you’re just an annoying, little critter. This being is confusing and should not exist! So you also seem to be a combination of animals. Why are you so weak then?! Thanatos.