Don’t Chat With Strangers
Hello, everybody. My name is Markiplier and welcome to Don’t Chat With Strangers. Now, this is a simulator of what happens when you answer a call in the middle of the night? Someone you don’t know.
(high pitched noise) Oh. We’re driving. Where are we driving to? I didn’t know we’d be driving. Oh! Mech Vs. Fruits? (game music) Oh! Lovely. Ooh. Ah, yay! AHH. I’ve been goofed. All right, enough of that. Buttons. Single player. I guess technically this is reminiscent of every video game. How many times can you press this button for a score? I dunno, but I could press it a lot apparently. *Mark making weird noises* 164! Wow, not even a congratulations? Not even a high score; nothing. Okay, all right then. Chat. Hello.
Woman: HI BOI. YOU THERE? Nah. OOOKAY… Alrighty then ooOOOOH! What?! (phone ringing) What the HELL happened?! (phone still ringing) I just got in the game! You told me not to chat with strangers and now I’m dead! OH GOD. Is that a… penis? What’s that supposed to be? Okay, so there’s multiple endings of the game I’ve heard. Let’s try a normal chat then, shall we? Hi. Hi cutie. Hi cutie. Hey, how’s it going? Hey, how ya doing? Woman: WHAT’S UP? It’s fine.
Not your business. Not your business? What-you — What you think? Woman: THAT’S NOT VERY NICE. :/ And? Um, excuse me?! Pardon moi– this isn’t real. Woman: GAS IS LEAKING. What? Run for your life–
Woman: ARE YOU OK? How can you know it? Woman: GIRLS KNOW THINGS. Well, guys know things too! Uh. Woman: I AM SO FULL. Same-sies! HI. Uh, guh– I– I can’t move my mouse! I can’t move my moUUUSe! AHH! DANGER– oh. Okay.
Woman: YOU WEREN’T ASLEEP? Actually, I was. HUH! Uh, um– ex- excuse you! Pardon moi! Ah, bed boner. (mumbles) What? (SCREAMS) Oh god. Oh GOD. That’s not what I expected out of the bed boner. This is a weird game. It’s a weird game this’s a weird game. Hey, oh Hello. Yes. Hello. What’s your name? I’ll be nice this time. Woman: HI BOI. Hi. Woman: NICE TO *MEAT* YOU. Do I know you? Nice to– oh no. Nice to MEAT you. Woman: WE MET ONCE BEFORE. 🙂 OH I remember! Oh yeah, back at Craig’s place. Woman: REALLY? Woman: WHEN DID WE MEET THEN?
Party at Chad’s! You remember Chad? Yeah, Greg Chad; that’s his name. Woman: I DON’T KNOW ANY CHAD’S. Everybody knows a Chad, who are you talking about? Woman: WHY WOULD YOU LIE TO ME? I don’t lie. I’d never lie. Why would I lie? I’d never lie. Not to you. Woman: I DON’T LIKE LIARS. oHH. God dammit! Again with this?! (YELLING) OHUHUWAHY WHYYY? (splodey noise and Markimoo signature scream) WHY DID THAT ‘SPLODE? wHY DID THAT ‘SPLODE? Why did that ‘splode? All right, let’s check out whatever horrible things I have in my own home. Good, okay. That’s upside down now. Oh. I’m outside. I didn’t know that was– AUGH. I’M sorry… (laughing softly) Excuse you. (laughing a little louder) Excuse YOU. Let’s try actually having a normal conversation. How about that? Hi. How are you? Are you good?
Woman: NICE TO *MEAT* YOU. It’s ‘meet’. Woman: MRIMVERYSMART? You must be fun at parties. Sorry, I’m sleepy. fuck me. Woman: SO AM I. WANNA PLAY ‘BUTTONS’? What ins versus Lucy let’s button down you you ready lose it a game of buttons Hey, oh you’re oh, you’re no good at buttons. Oh loosen up my button, baby Oh yeah, you think you could beat me at buttons up and button mashing till I was 12 baby Oh, you ain’t never seen buttons this button before oh. God my pots or so, but what’s are so loose. Oh? Yeah, that’s a good button. It’s good button mashing Pretty good pretty good nice. Try hard. Oh now this button, it’s so tight ah Not loose at all this button is hard oh I bet dude that was pretty fun. Yeah it was for me too. We should try it sounds great You want to loosen up my buttons again? mm um um um um I wonder How does your voice sound oh sexy listen to this yeah? Yeah? Why not? I’ll call ya, hey I’ll call you baby. My number is I can’t remember this one Oh, yeah, oh, well that ain’t good What what what? Why what this happened, and you want to run that by me in with them, okay? What happened? What happened? I don’t know what happened. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know how many endings there are to this game, okay? I’m trying down the call route again. This is just Gonna restart it oh No, that is oh Everything went better than expected All right error log. Hello nice to meet you same Oh, my number is seven one three one four three one five six here. We got well that me ignore that Fix got it. Oh Well, that’s bizarre Don’t know why they didn’t work that should have whoo except one three one four three one Five six knows it right Do you have any I don’t like that? I have lots of hobbies I Really do smooch okay smoochies Playing bindi games like that that’s pretty cool good. Hobby. What’s your favourite River raid? Oh? Wow, River raid you don’t like that one is that not your favorite game catan ready for that number, baby? I’m here. I’m an Eager beaver. Oh Welcome back ago. I don’t like that. Oh What did I do to deserve that could you call me not really? Not gonna beg you, okay, here comes my dad. Oh Never mind. What I do Something going on here. That’s not right This is the sound of my voice are you listening? It’s real good At playing video games. I love it. Love it is Great. Well my thing Love my favorite Mac versus fruits It’s a good one viewer of it none of you have well. It’s pretty difficult Have you ever beaten it? No? I haven’t wouldn’t lie be can I watch you play anyway sure as soon as Bum bitty bitty pretty big yeah, but other boob okay. I’m down Start the game you’ve got it, baby Started it don’t know Well, I got level one. Oh yeah. Hell. Yeah, wait, okay? Hell yeah, I’m gonna beat it for you. How do I give these guys hey? Oh God damn it? Hope I didn’t disappoint a lady damn it ah Come on. Oh God damn it this death. I was just about to try to click on that thing or something. Oh wow Okay, so anyway It gets more frustrating because I know there’s something else deeper in here, but it takes so many layers to get to that It’s just a it’s just a hassle to get to so if there is Another secret deep down in here. I don’t know what that is, but you guys can find out for yourself I’ll put a link to the game in the description below. It’s interesting it is interesting. I do like it. There’s woo Something to that, but there’s there’s something to this that’s really appealing but just a little bit I wish it was a bit more transparent, but either way. Thank you everybody so much for watching! And let me know what you thought in the comments below. As always, I will see you… in the next video.. buh bye!