Remakes and Remasters


Video games are such a disposable medium. You could release a huge breakthrough title and in two or three years, that game will be an antiquated fucking busted up piece of shit. But when a developer goes back and remaster a beloved game they get a chance to make the game as good as you remembered it being. Of course, some of them may just be lazy attempts to exploit your nostalgia for money. Most of them, though, really do turn out to be the ultimate way to experience the game. So get your popcorn, get your licorice, get your root beer, get your fucking Stromboli, this gonna be a long video, baby. GoldenEye. “Who here would say it’s one of the greatest shooters of all time?” “Everybody.” GoldenEye fucking sucks. This game is just buried under a fucking avalanche of technical problems. I cannot recommend anyone play this game on the Nintendo 64. The frame rate is dogshit. The resolution is so low that you’re getting killed by guys you can’t even see in the distance. And somehow, you have to aim at shit with the Nintendo 64 controller. With the f – what the fuck is this? This doesn’t work, it just doesn’t work. In its original state, this game has been objectively obliterated by the passage of time. Now, you got two options to play GoldenEye. One of them is the perfect way to experience GoldenEye and the other one is the absolute worst way to remake a game. Let’s talk about this one first. GoldenEye Reloaded. This fucking atrocity. It was marketed like a remake of GoldenEye but it’s actually a shitty knockoff of Call of Duty. That has to be probably the biggest slap in the face to GoldenEye’s legacy. Possible. But, there is another option. Through an emulator, you can play GoldenEye at 60 fps, in HD resolution and it’s nice. But the controller still doesn’t feel right for this game. Until. Now don’t tell anybody I told you about this, but if you go on Google, you can find a fan-made program that allows you to play GoldenEye with a mouse and keyboard. And holy shit. GoldenEye, Perfect Dark, Timesplitters, None of these games were ever meant to be played with a controller. It handles so effortlessly with a mouse and keyboard that it’s like your playing GoldenEye for the first time all over again. And it’s still a damn good game. Especially the first half. You can karate chop people. You can shoot ’em with a silenced pistol. You can shoot ’em with a silenced karate chop. There’s a mission where you have to acquire a copy of GoldenEye on VHS. It’s stunning how just a little change like switching your controller can have such a huge impact on the playability of a game. And that’s what a good remaster should attempt to do. Fix all those stupid little nagging issues that older games had. Because usually, it’s just dumb little stuff that the developer overlooked. Ocarina of Time. What is this aiming? Seriously. What the fuck is this aiming? [ phone ringing ] Hello, Nintendo? What the fuck is this aiming? “The aiming?” “I would… I would not know, sir.” It fuckin’ sucks. It is ass. Now go play Ocarina of Time on the 3DS with the gyro-aiming. It’s beautiful. It’s a masterpiece – it’s [ mwah ] One of my dream remasters would be Donkey Kong 64. One of the most challenging 3D platformers ever. With over 13.9 trillion bananas to collect. BUT Some sick fuck degenerate decided to color-code each and every banana to a specific character. That’s where you take it too far. You see those red bananas? Donkey Kong can’t get those. Sorry, fucker. You have to walk back to the barrel, switch to Diddy Kong, walk all the way back, grab the banana Oh, what’s that? BLUE banana? Oh, you fucking idiot. Walk all the way back – This game is made by monkeys. A lot of the issues that this game has could be fixed simply by letting the player to switch Kongs with the d-pad. Like, you hit right. Bam. Diddy Kong. Bam. Chombo Kong. We’ll never see this game remastered because the license is all split up. It would be awesome. Most remasters are just make the game prettier, make the framerate smoother… It’s lazy, but sometimes the jump to HD can have a huge impact. Take Wind Waker. Eh, pretty good lookin’ game. [ hooting and gasping ] Oh shit! Then you have other times where it’s: [ mumbling ] Here I am playing, uh, Hitman 2. For the PS2. And, um… Oh. Oh, I think it went to HD. Skyrim Remastered. This game has huge, game breaking bugs. But instead of fixing that, they made the water look better. [ Skyrim main theme playing ] And they fucked up the sound quality. I’m – aren’t there mods that make the graphics better? [ phone ringing ] “This is Heather speaking.” Skyrim Remastered? Come on, Nintendo. What do you think you’re pullin’ here? “Dunkey?! What are you doing calling here?” Oh SHIT. Sometimes, the latest version of a game is not the best version. Such as the Fuck You Idiot: Give Us All Your Money collection. Fans are still upset about how Silent Hill 2 looks on that collection. And when you’re overhauling visuals, you want to make noticable improvements without trampling over the original game’s art direction. Take, uh… Conker: Live & Reloaded. This game looks great in its own right. But ask anyone: they still prefer the N64 version. Doesn’t have any of that fancy fur effects. But it’s much more thematically appropriate. It’s more animated, it’s a lot more colorful and reminiscent of Banjo-Kazooie. And that’s the whole point. A parent might walk in, and see Conker, you know, walking around getting honey and think: “Oh, this is a nice game, like Banjo. This is a nice game to get for my kids.” And then he gets drunk and starts pissing on some guy’s balls. The best remasters take that further step and rectify gameplay issues. Donkey Kong Returns on the Wii. You have to keep shaking the dumbass controller every time you want to roll. It is the dumbest fucking idea. Play it on the the 3DS? Oh, hey, I can play this game like an actual human being now. Pikmin, on the other hand, plays so good on the Wiimote that you can never go back to a normal controller. I didn’t even know about this, but they actually brought Pikmin 1 and 2 to the Wii, just so you can play with the Wiimote. Uncharted 2, go back and play the original PS3 version. It is so underwhelming because the cover system fuckin’ sucks dick. Every time you come out of cover, you’re aiming at nothing. So you just get shot, then you get to do it again. On harder difficulties, this game is unplayable. Pop in the PS4 version. Oh my god! Bluepoint has completely reworked the shooting and cover mechanics, unlocking a goldmine of buried potential. Crank the difficulty up to crushing, and you will experience one of the best single player shooters ever made. Every level, every shootout is different than the last. Well, guys, it’s lookin’ like that time again. I just wanna close this video out with a request. Let me play Mario with real analog controls. Don’t screw up that Final Fantasy VII remake. And bring Red Dead Redemption to PC. BUT Most importantly Knack HD. OK, Nintendo? Knack HD. “Sir?” “This is Walgreen’s.”

100 comments

  • Landon Wielki

    that ending though! XD XD LMAO

    Reply
  • Iris Diaz

    There was a onimusha trilogy remaster on xbox 360?

    Reply
  • James Twining

    I loved goldeneye reloaded what do you MEANNN

    Reply
  • S T O P, you violated the Law

    Nitpicking & Biased

    9.5/10

    Reply
  • Max Thomas

    Appreciate your love for CBFD

    Reply
  • abhishek singh

    Why there is no Hindi caption

    Reply
  • Caramel Cream

    rewatching this n whats up with james murray

    Reply
  • AyeThaKiddGotSwagg

    ain’t nun thing but a lil chicken baq baq

    Reply
  • George Cowsert

    Of all the games that I want a simple graphics boost and bug fixes, it's Infamous 2. Just being able to show off just why electricity should replace fire as the default go-to superpower is enough to make me adore the first two games, but the story and genuine characters make it feel like far more than a simple power trip.

    When people say that the most difficult boss fight is the one that requires you to hit R1 three times with absolutely zero risk of death, they're either memeing or there's a damn good reason why they say that.

    Reply
  • Diego Torres

    Wait did a Nintendo employee actually pick up the phone and realized who it was

    Reply
  • osama_the_llama

    you are nitpicking and biased bye bye

    Reply
  • Zeminem123

    Do u actually call them? 🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
  • lay lover

    I love how for Dunkey a "long video" is eight minutes

    Reply
  • Ryan Bishay

    When r they makin

    Reply
  • Ryan Bishay

    Uncharted

    Reply
  • Dagoth Ur

    Okay, I understand Goldeneye must look like an unplayable game, (which it actually is) but when you came from the 16-bit Super Nintendo era, and saw this for the first time, it was damn impressive, even on a CRT-tv.
    (there was no HD at the time)
    I was still a kid, played Killer Instinct on the SNES, and when I saw this, I was very impressed.
    But, i was even more impressed with Mario64.
    I didn't get the money to buy a N64 at its launch, so each wednesday, in the afternoon, me and my friends went to 'Game Nation.'
    To play Mario.
    After I figured out how to make Mario move off course.
    I could do anything, jump, crouch, but no running, didn't knew it was an analogue stick.
    After I figured out, the only thing I did was running around the castle, take a dive, climb a tree.
    I even didn't know there was an actual game around it, the only thing I did, was running freely.
    Ah! The good old times.
    So, Mario 64 was something i couldn't get out of my head, but Goldeneye 64 was also damn impressive.
    Try to look at it as if you where coming from the 2D era, then, just the 3D-movement in itself was very impressive.

    Keep it up Dunky!
    I like your content. 🙃🙂

    Reply
  • Bobby man

    Sir this is walgreens

    Reply
  • Felipe Melo

    Dude you're wrong. Goldeneye for PS3 was never meant to be a re-make of Goldeneye for N64 or anything of the sort, but a new game based on the movie . And honestly, they did a good job.

    Reply
  • Neo___

    i want bloodborne on pc!

    Reply
  • ソラベストボーイ

    5:01

    Reply
  • Captain Z

    ITS A MASTAPIECE !!!

    Reply
  • SonofRiggnarok

    I am 100% Resident Evil 4 on the Wii is the best version. Play with the Wii mote for aiming and you'll see how much you've been missing out on.

    Reply
  • Quân Pham

    The girl on the phone who regconize dunkey . . . I want to find her . . .a and wife her

    Reply
  • M MM

    They should completely scrap that analogue stick and bring back the SNES Style Controller with the Cross. Gaming really got stupid with this Garbage and when I hear Shooter Players talk about "Aiming Skill", I have to puke…

    Reply
  • mynameisnot devion

    > 6 inches
    > Long

    kek dunk

    Reply
  • A Cat

    i checked the link
    First review i see is from KNACK 3

    Reply
  • Shine

    Such as the “Fuck you idiot, give us all your money collection”

    Reply
  • Crøst Dærgön

    Finally someone said the truth about GoldenEye 64.

    Reply
  • Bioncx

    don’t copy pyrocynicals copy of your copy

    Reply
  • MegaTomPlays

    Skyrim doesn't have bugs it has extra features

    Reply
  • STD Positive

    R u Italian?

    Reply
  • Night Man

    I really want a Skate Trilogy remaster or just make it where I can buy it from the PS store without altering it.

    Reply
  • Green Seagull

    "Its going to be a long video"

    7:46

    This hurts you as a game critic Dumbkey

    Reply
  • Kool Cat

    Nack 2 bby

    Reply
  • Srirachhaa

    Anybody who says that Bad Fur Day is better than Live & Reloaded hasn't played the game since the early 2000s. CBFD is so damn jank and chunky from a gameplay perspective. Yeah, the censorship in the Xbox version is unfortunate, and it loses some of the original N64 game's visual charm, but from a pure gameplay perspective Live & Reloaded is leaps and bounds more enjoyable.

    Reply
  • Brady P.

    “Dunkey proves that the 3ds is the best game (console?)” should be the real title. Ocarina if time 3ds is the best game I’ve ever played

    Reply
  • Arcada

    whats the game at 4:13 with the robot

    Reply
  • Logan Olson

    Andddddd the Final Fantasy remake still hasn’t come out

    Reply
  • 0 subscribers with no videos challenge

    Super Mario 64 DS: it's mario 64 with a dpad, what else is there to say.

    Super Mario 64 DS on the 3DS:

    Reply
  • Archer

    Your background music choices are always A+ for effort. That Pilot Wings 64 song at the beginning was sublime.

    Reply
  • Jose Eduardo

    Read Dead redemptiion 2 is coming to pc dunkey
    Nintendo listened to you

    Reply
  • Murtaza Khan

    All these games look fucking shit !!!

    Reply
  • Logan Geddes

    They did it, Red Dead 2 on Pc soon

    Reply
  • The Manf

    4:13 "it's laydzy"

    Reply
  • Mohammad Hussien

    Wow predicted the future without knowing, RDR 2 is coming to PC. There might be a chance to get the original remastered on pc as well.

    Reply
  • moated_game

    I just realised that dunkey uses X/A instead of Y/B, my whole life is a lie

    Reply
  • hello7pm

    Here on October 6, 2019 to say that…we're finally getting Red Dead Redemption on PC, but the sequel.

    Reply
  • kavenoff777

    "We'll never see this game remastered because the license is all split up."

    2019 is here, and they'd like to say "hello"… along with Banjo & Kazooie in Smash Bros, and Microsoft supposedly (just a rumor I've heard, mind you) considering selling Rare back to Nintendo… if that happens, we could see so many new things! So many good remasters too!

    Sure, we probably wouldn't get DK64 Remastered with M&K controls, but we could get it with Joy-Con Gyroscope controls!
    Banjo-Kazooie and Banjo-Tooie Remastered! Banjo-Threeie! Diddy Kong Racing 2!

    So many possibilities, all because Microsoft is willing to work alongside Nintendo rather than against them!

    Reply
  • RicePanda

    Red Dead 2 coming to pc Nov 5th babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

    Reply
  • Tú Nguyễn Ngọc

    RDR2 on PC boys and girls.
    Not the original version, because no online mode means no shark card.

    Reply
  • Der Fliegende Mocca

    4:36 skyrim – WOW! :'D

    Reply
  • Kei Macmaster

    Well i mean no red dead 1 yet but hey red dead 2 is coming to PC

    Reply
  • Gregorio Lobato

    This review did not age well

    Reply
  • Kim S

    @00:35 I recognise JerryRig anywhere.

    Reply
  • pyrotechnick

    why do you come out aiming at nothing when you play Uncharted 2? Is maybe cause YOU SUCK lol

    Reply
  • Виталий Краснов

    Чувак , ты просто гений , я плачу со смеху над твоими роликами

    Reply
  • Hải Nam Lê Nguyễn

    Yea I wish Red Dead Redemption get a PC port too

    But well we get Red Dead Redemption 2 instead

    Reply
  • Michaels

    Read dead 2 coming to PC!

    Reply
  • sebc593

    Red dead redemption 2 on pc in under a month

    Reply
  • esketit

    Ratchet and clank sucked. The characters were horrible.

    Reply
  • EnForce HecTiiC

    I went through all bioshock games on the remake and the lighting glitch never happened to me

    Reply
  • Sun48100

    They already bring RDR2!!!

    Reply
  • Yudhistira Indyka

    "Bring RDR to PC"

    Well hello there

    Reply
  • Clayton Thompson

    You should review gore ultimate soldier and they should remake that

    Reply
  • mendy ydem

    what is that game at 5:19 ?

    Reply
  • Andrew Creekmore vlog and gaming

    Resident Evil 4 on the WII is the best version to play. I poured over 100 hours into it, and got 100 percent compilation i highly recommended it

    Reply
  • sour puss

    Red bananas are amazing after eating them you shit instantly

    Reply
  • Elfsmash

    4:52 if you want the nintendo part.

    Reply
  • FuzedBox

    DKC: Returns is best played on the Wii, but you need to change the bindings to a 'Cube/Classic controller with Action Replay. The game is good on the 3DS, but the framerate is too low.

    Reply
  • Anjounet Leavell

    DK 64 is Bliss

    Reply
  • Dash's DDR Channel

    what’s the level that the music at 2:20 is from

    Reply
  • Suhas Banik

    That's right!!! Bring RDR to PC!!!!

    Reply
  • GWR

    Dunkey: its gonna be a long video. 7 min

    Any other youtuber: Short video. 10 min

    Lol

    Reply
  • Kaikya 我爱你

    bring red dead redemption to pc 2019 bringing red dead redemption 2 to pc

    Reply
  • Michael Franceschi

    Nintendo should really improve their customer service.

    Reply
  • Gustav the Chespin - ྲཱྀꦿ⃘⃜꙰

    "Sir….This Walgreen's………"

    Reply
  • Jaime Nunez-Merino

    Holy crap he predicted rdr2 on pc

    Reply
  • Dɪʙʏᴀʟᴏᴋ Sᴀᴛᴘᴀᴛʜʏ

    "This game is made by monkeys"

    Reply
  • Solaire of Astora

    Dunkey confirmed: 6 inches is long!

    Reply
  • Zachary Birch

    ok… 2 things
    1.Conker's Bad fur day while yes it looks more thematically appropriate, you forgot one thing, The Shooting. At Chapters Spooky, It's War, and Heist, you are expected to shoot some shit, and as expected in controls like garbage. Even more so when the controls are not updated on rare replay, it is just an emulation unlike banjo, perfect dark, and jet force gemini. Second Point will be in the reply.

    Reply
  • Stanley Porembski

    Why is that lasagna in the middle of 1943 Italy?

    Reply
  • Dank Forest

    Hello Nintendo?

    Reply
  • Levferno

    Dunkey HD collection sounds pretty good.

    Reply
  • Magicpointeshoe

    Here’s a song i made for you.
    Rake in the lake
    Bake me a cake
    Rake the cake
    Dunkey, rake the cake
    Cake the rake
    Dump the cake in the lake
    Skeleton gaming bones ghoulie
    Rake in the Lake
    Cake the Rake
    Kill the Rake
    Eat the Cake
    Rake the Lake
    Eat the Cake
    Eat the Rake
    [NOM NOM NOM]
    [AAAAAAAAAAA]
    Skeleton Bones Ghoulie.
    Ghoulie Bones Skeleton
    [SONG END]
    I call it the Cake Rake.

    Reply
  • Lizrdspheerx

    Dunkey getting caught is always the best.

    Reply
  • Tomáš Kalinka

    I never understood how people can enjoy shooters on consoles 🙂

    Reply
  • Frank Hu

    Red dead is coming to pc so your request has been heard now fingers crossed for final fantasy

    Reply
  • K W

    Agreed. Only babies and poors played goldeneye. Game sucks ass when you could play quake or doom or duke. Fuck lame ass goldeneye

    Reply
  • Zippy

    When's minecraft 2?

    Reply
  • arthur ward

    Three years later we finally got red dead 2 for pc

    Reply
  • Neerupan Ganeshaan

    it has finally happened…. RDR 2 will come to pc this november.. now all we have to do is expect the online service to be horse shit, and get better over the next year…

    Reply
  • Lil’ Fetus

    Sir. This is Walgreens.

    Reply
  • Kevin Vo

    The reason why the Silent Hill HD collection sucks, is because the developers previous games were the glee games, on the wii. I'm not kidding look it up

    Reply
  • Tanner Billings

    I liked RE4 on the wii lol

    Reply
  • Jadovran

    Ahahahahahahahahahahaha

    Reply
  • Hasan Fakih

    We want bubsy 4d

    Reply
  • Shade Pizza

    Goldeneye Wii was good though

    Reply
  • Jake Dunning

    Can't wait for the Knack 2 remaster babyyyyyyy

    Reply
  • Solo Songs

    I know the ps5’s launch:
    Knack 3
    Knack HD
    Knack 2 2
    And……

    Super Mario Brodas 2 BABYYYYYY!!!!!

    Reply
  • Jooci Bob

    Dunkey's request was fulfilled. Red dead 2 comes out for pc November 5th and I preordered it.

    Also KNACK 2 BAYBEEEEEEEE

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *