Sheriff of Nottingham: Ashley Clements, Derek Mio & Meredith Salenger on TableTop S03E07

– Many of us are familiar
with the legend of Robin Hood. But, for those of
you who haven’t been watching Dr. Who this season,
here’s a brief primer. He and his band of Merry
Men, including Friar Tuck and Little John lived
in Sherwood Forest, where they’d rob from
the rich, and give what they stole to the poor. No one ever talks about
their operating expenses, which is weird to me. Anyway, a lot of the
rich people in the area, most notably Prince John, were
decidedly not cool with this, so they enlisted the help
of the local constabulary to stop Robin Hood,
or at least cramp his magnificent singing,
dancing, linclon green style. Today on TableTop, Ashley
Clements, Derrick Mio and Meredith Salenger are here to join me on the outskirts
of Sherwood Forest, where we will find
out who among us can help Robin Hood by
smuggling in the most contraband while also enriching
ourselves as the most crafty and corrupt
Sheriff of Nottingham. (upbeat music) Sheriff of Nottingham
is a bluffing game designed by Brian Pope,
Sergio Halaban and Andre Zatz. In Nottingham, we
play the perfectly legitimate entrepreneurs
trying to sell our totally ordinary goods to
the fine people of the region. We would never even consider
smuggling contraband into the city to fuel the
rebellion led by Robin Hood. That notion good sir,
and or madam, as your individual gender applies,
is just preposterous. Preposterous, I say! Unfortunately, the
sheriff is on the lookout, and he has set up his
office at a border check, controlling what comes
in and out of the city. But, luckily for us, the
sheriff’s moral compass now only points to his
ever-fattening coin purse. Bribing the sheriff
is not only allowed, but it is completely
encouraged, and it is the role-playing of this
shakedown in the game that makes Sheriff of
Nottingham so awesome. Every turn, the
sheriff announces that Nottingham is
open for business, and he will be inspecting
cargo coming into town. The sheriff’s
position is indicated by this bloated, pompous
piece of cardboard right here. Now, the players will
load their merchant cart, represented by
these colorful bags. Each player must
declare how many goods they are bringing into town,
and of what single type. As an example, I have got
these three wedges of cheese, I’d like to sell them in town. I certainly don’t know where
this crossbow came from, or how it wound
up in my shipment. Now, we all know that
this crossbow is illegal, because it’s marked in
red, and I certainly should not try to
sell it in town, but it’s worth as much as
all of my cheese combined. So, I’m going to
declare four cheese, and try to smuggle this
crossbow past the checkpoint. All the merchants now place
their goods into their sleeves, and they pass their bags
over for inspection. Now look, I know the
sheriff is very busy and has a taste for luxury. So, I have included
this uh, application fee of five dollars to speed
along the inspection process. This is very easy
money to the sheriff if he just looks the
other way instead of inspecting the bag
for undeclared goods. What do you mean,
this is a bribe? This is a donation to the
sheriff’s reelection campaign! And we all know that
campaign contributions are protected free speech in the United States
of Nottingham. Thank you, Supreme Court. The players will try to
use deception and bribery to get their illegal goods
across the border checkpoint, and the sheriff will use
intimidation and extortion to get money out of the players. Bribery versus
extortion, awesome! Who will get thrown into
the stocks for smuggling and who can convince
the sheriff these aren’t the maladroits
they’re looking for, return to their
business and move along? Let’s find out in
Sheriff of Nottingham. – I’m Ashley Clements
and I’m an actress best-known for starring in
the Lizzie Bennet Diaries. – My name is Derrick
Mio, and I’m an actor. Fans of Geek & Sundry
will recognize me as playing Elliot on the
original series, Spooked. – My name is Meredith
Salenger and I’m an actress. I have been on TableTop
before, playing Quirkle and 12 Days,
and I totally won and it was amazing, I
had the best day ever. – This is Sheriff of Nottingham. Normally the way you
decide who goes first in Sheriff of Nottingham
is by finding out who has the most
money on their person, which I actually
find kind of gross. So instead of doing
that, we have these really cool dice, they’re
like, see who goes first dice. They are mathematically
distributed so that they cannot tie, and
they’re 12-sided dice and they’re awesome. So I guess we’ll just roll them, and whoever has the
high roll will go first. I rolled a seven,
Meredith rolled an eight, Ashley rolled a 44 and
Derrick rolled a three. So umm, Ashley guess what, you
get to be the sheriff first. – Great. – There you go. – A lot of pressure,
being first. There’s no precedent set up for how these negotiations
are gonna go, you know, just gotta
start sussing out how honest people are, or not. – So everybody go ahead
and check out your hands and decide what we’re
going to try to get into fabulous
Nottinghamshiretownberg. (mischievous music) – So many green cards. – Oh, it’s a hand full of them! Nothing but green
cards in my hand. Yes. – Oh we’ll see, we’ll see. – I’m hoping that I
can take advantage of the other players’
relative inexperience with this game on
the first turn, to push them around
a little bit. – Good sheriff, for
all that you do, I would like to offer you
three satchels of apples. To keep you healthy. – Oh. – Uh, cuz I care about you. – Interesting, great,
great declaration. – [Wil] Terrific, fantastic. And what will you be bringing
across the border, madam? – I, too have three
satchels of apples. But because you are
a fine lady sheriff, I shall give you
some money with it. – Oh, interesting. – [Meredith] Just to say hello. – Just a hello. – Just a hello. Hmm, little coin at the
beginning, woman to woman, so that she can just
step over me real quick and not even have
to deal with it. – And you, sir? – Hello, sheriff. I’m a little embarrassed
to be crossing at the same time as these
clearly inexperienced merchants who have never entered
Nottingham before. I’ve known Meredith
since we were kids, but of the players
at this table, I know Ashley the
best, and I think I can get a pretty
good read on her. In an effort to speed
this process along, I would like you to know
that I have two chickens in my bag, and I would
just like to maybe speed up the application
process a bit. – Interesting. Alright. So, this was three apples? – It was. Forgive me but I
forgot to add a little token of my loyalty. – Ugh, so ugly, copper
coins on my hands. – I’m afraid your
reputation isn’t great, and I just umm… – We just met! I don’t know what
she’s referring to. – Derrick looks
suspiciously like Robin Hood in all that get-up
he’s wearing green, some familiar shapes… – No, I’ve been
wearing those things for years now. Essentially, he
stole my fashion. Yeah. – I uh, I’m afraid I’m
gonna have to inspect, since you’re new in town. I’m just gonna have
to ummm, take a look. – Don’t know what forest you’re
hanging out at, but okay. – I’ve already given you
one, but to make you happy and to speed it along,
as he says, I will put a five, woman to woman. – So it’s a better offer. – [Meredith] It’s
a better offer. – It is, and as you
say, woman to woman. – Yeah. – Ashley, girl power. Girls take care of girls. – I will let you pass. – Yay. – Well hello, sheriff. – Hello, again. Hefty bribe for,
right out of the gate. – I’m sorry, uh, maybe
you misunderstood me. Uh, this is, as of
course you know, a fee to help speed along my
application process. What happens to this fee
once it leaves my possession is certainly none of my concern. – Hmm. – An expedition fee
is of course a fee that is paid to someone
who’s looking to upgrade themselves
from a Ford Focus to a Ford Expedition. – Don’t let me see you
making any trouble. – I wouldn’t dream
of it, sheriff! Would not dream of it,
thank you very much. – Very nice, very nice. I really hope that this is
not a bag of three apples. – It is. – Ha ha, but! – [Derrick] But. – You may not bring these
special apples into town. And therefore you may keep those and you may pay me
three, which is– – Which is what I
was willing to pay. – But I robbed you
these four points. – So uh, let’s see. – So do we show? – Yeah, we, huh, that’s weird, I wonder how that got in there? That was not there when
I, no, that is absolutely not there when I put that in. So everything in your
bag seems to have gone into your contraband
file, that’s… – I accidentally
switched my two piles. – That’s so weird, I wonder
how that happened, huh. – It was such a mistake. – Well I guess we can
go ahead and re-draw some cards here. Well welcome to the land
of being a merchant. There’s a new sheriff
in town, everyone. – I am the sheriff. And uh, your reputations
have preceded yourselves. This specific group
of people have been very untrustworthy, and
so I’m pretty confident that I’m gonna find
some contraband. – I accidentally, the last
time that I went to visit, I mixed up some things, and
in fact I have three apples. – Just three apples. – Just three apples
to give to you. – Yeah, I’m just going to
move this along very quickly. I’ve got two apples in there. – I heard that,
about you like to move things along quickly. – I do, I really do. I am in a quite
a bit of a hurry. – Maybe too quickly. – I have tickets to
tonight’s butter churning. I’m really excited to see
it, it’s at the tavern, the Dick & Pickle. The butter churning
concert tonight is of course Mrs.
Butter and the Worths. Listen, maybe I
could just go ahead and get my ticket
from you, instead of having to wait in
line at the door, it’s just a thing
to think about. And I’ll step back and
get out of the way, let these things speed along. – You don’t want good
tickets, apparently. To the butter churning. – I was under the impression
it was general admission. – I am but a humble
baker, as you can see, and I am bringing four
bushels of apples into town– – Four? – To make my famous
apple pie, which I hope you will come and sample. – Four bushels. – [Wil] A lot of
apples, I’m just saying there’s an awful lot
of apples being brought across this border,
that is strange. – [Derrick] Four bushels. – That is highly strange,
considering apples are not in season. I mean I’m just saying, I
don’t want to talk out of turn. – I have a guy. – Any toppings to go
with that apple pie? Is there any? – It comes with a
delicious crust, you should come try it, it’s… – And how much is
the crust worth? – Uh, it’s worth four apples. – But the four apples
are in the pie, but on top, the toppings… – Just the crust, but
have you had a pie before? It’s just some crust, bottom,
top, apples in the middle. – One pence from my good people. Everything I do for
you, this is all that you’re willing to offer me? – We’d very much like to get out to the Dick & Pickle
to get in line before the show starts. The Dick & Pickle serves
whatever you want, you just have to
know how to order it. – Please come back for pie. (laughing) – Three… – [Meredith] Three apples. – Three apples. With nothing. – With nothing. Because it’s just three apples. – I’m going to
inspect all of you! For your insolence. – [Meredith] Oh my goodness. – And disrespect. – [Wil] Alright. – Four apples in the purple bag? – No, no, three, just three. – In the purple bag there’s
one, there’s three apples. (Ashley laughs) – So I think I get six… – I think six bucks
are coming your way. – Six dollars from you, for me. There we go. – Good sir? – [Wil] Yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, two apples. – Two apples. – Yep. – There’s two. – That’s right, uh, I
understand it’s umm, a really lovely two
pence floor tickets have opened up for
tonight’s butter churning, so if you don’t mind. – Yes, yes. – [Wil] Oh, do you
need some change? – Enjoy the uh, I do. – [Wil] Here you go. – Provide the good
sheriff with some change. – You’re supposed to just
give him one back in change. – Competitive butter churning. – [Ashley] He needs to
pay you for both apples. – Oh, that’s right, excuse me. I’m so very sorry,
my mistake, thank you for catching that. Just saying that I’ll remember
this should we ever… – Where are all these
apples coming from?! – I have a guy, my apple guy! – [Wil] Oh dear, wow! – What is this, like a– – [Wil] A lot of apples.. – A surplus of
apples in the land? – You owe me eight
dollars, and again, please do stop by for pie. (laughing) – Uh, you know, I
took quite a hit. But, I think I can
get through this. – Hello, sheriff. – Well, hello. – I’m sure that you’re
aware of all the apples that recently came into town. – There’s so many apples! – Right, and I’ll
tell you what goes really well with apples,
delicious cheese. – That is true. – Right? And uh, I have brought
with me today four cheeses. – Four cheeses. – To go with the
glut of apples– – That is a lot of cheese. – That’s a lot of cheese. – I know it is, it
is a lot of cheese. – I also have brought cheese
to bake into the crust of my apple pie. – Huh, oh that’s odd. – But only three, a much more plausible number of cheese. – It is more plausible. Right. And you, kind sir. – I’ve also given
you three cheeses. – You, too have three cheeses. – Oh, Jesus. – But unlike them, I’m going to offer you a little something. – It feels as though that is
a bribe to not check your bag. – I have to say, it looks
like a bribe to me, too. – [Derrick] If
that’s how you feel. – I’ve seen bribes before. – Yeah, you’ve
given them before. – I don’t know what
you’re talking about. – As an honest
merchant who would only ever bring in cheese,
it seems a little suspicious. – It’s a bribe on
simply three cheeses. So I’m not going to
accept your five. We’re gonna check
that in a second. – Guys, trust me, okay? I wouldn’t lie. Scout’s honor. – You say there’s three? – Three cheese. – That does seem plausible. – I bake it into the
crust of the apple pie. – Almost too plausible. – Too plausible? Well uh, could I make
it too more plausible? – And that’s a bit
suspicious that you’re giving me two when, hmm.
– [Wil] Isn’t it? – Well, it is
merely three cheese. – Right. – Pretty sure it’s
not three cheeses. – And yet it seems
like it’s not. – So umm… – That’s all you’re gonna do? That’s fine. – Really all that’s
worth my effort. – Right, I’m gonna
give those back to you. – The old switcheroo! – And I’m just gonna
hold this right here and have a look at
that in a second. And you, kind sir? – Finally. – Four cheeses. – Yeah, I completely realized
when these obvious liars are attempting to sneak
not cheese past you claiming that cheese
was in their bag, when we all know that the
cheese is in fact, in my bag. – [Meredith] Correct. – [Wil] Right. – But four is a… – [Ashley] Four is
a lot of cheese. – Four is a lot of cheese. – Four is a lot of cheese. – I don’t know, I
feel like I’m gonna let it slide on this one. – Thanks, sheriff! I appreciate that,
thank you very much. It’s always a pleasure
to do business with– – It is a pleasure. – With people who understand
the ways that business works. – So you said there were… – I forgot. – [Meredith] You forgot? – [Wil] I believe he said there
were three cheeses in there which we all know is ridiculous. – There’s one cheese,
there’s two cheese, ah, and yet there’s some mead. – No one likes getting
caught smuggling any type of contraband,
it’s embarrassing. Hopefully I can
make it up to them by providing, you
know, actual goods. – So he doesn’t get these
back, these go here. – He does, he did
declare cheese. – I did declare cheese. – So you get to keep the
cheese that you declared, yes. – Well let’s see
what you’ve done. One cheese. – Just three cheese. – [Meredith] And two mead. – I couldn’t remember
what I put in there, I should have bribed you more. – You get your cheese. And I get to confiscate
two meads, but that’s gonna cost you eight. And it was a pleasure doing
business with all of you. – Let’s see, we’ve got a cheese. – [Meredith] Oh god, oh no. – And a cheese, huh? Wait a minute, that’s… Listen, you know how
they say you should never leave your bags unattended… The finest mead in
all of the shire. That’s Nottingham shire for you. Is of course at
the Dick & Pickle. And how do you think
it’s gonna get there? This guy. – Now that you can be sheriff, we’ll see how you handle this. – Alright, there’s a new
sheriff in town everybody! And he’s me! Sheriff Tellsthetruth,
that’s who I am. The title of Sheriff
Always Tellsthetruth is passed down from
sheriff to sheriff and is moved through
the generations in a quick, easy manner. Perhaps you’ve heard the term
like (bleep) through a goose. Well, the truth-telling
of sheriffs moves through sheriffs like
(bleep) through a goose. What do you have,
Lady Breadsalot? – Sir Breadsalot, thank you. – I’m sorry, Sir Breadsalot. I did not see your mustache,
I apologize to you, sir. – My father was Sir
Breadsalot and here I am, Sir Breadsalot
II, Earl of Bread. – Well, again, in your
bag you claim to have… – Three chickens, it could make a fine chicken pot pie. – [Wil] Yes, it’s very
interesting to me. This bag seems awfully
still for having many chickens in it. – Hmm. – I expect movement in a
bag filled with, how many? – Three. – Three chickens, yes, that
seems a bit strange to me, I wonder if somehow
I could be distracted from the non-moving bag. – These are very shiny. – Hmmm. Perhaps something
which glitters, hmm… – He’s a little
biased against copper, I wonder if that’s
actually a dig at my hair. It wouldn’t be the first time
he disrespected the redhead. – Perhaps there’s
some silver coin inside your bag. – [Derrick] Good choice
sheriff, good choice. – Hello, sir! Sir, your money stack
seems to be rather small. – Times are tough, and… – I greatly enjoy your
localized accent, sir! I just realized that you
were from around these parts. – It is rubbing off on me,
sir, it’s rubbing off on me and I’d like to just give
you some three real chickens. – [Wil] Yes? – Not fake chickens like the
previous person before me. – I don’t believe this man
has ever seen a chicken. – I don’t believe
this man has ever seen anything that goes in a sack. – That is what she said, sir. (laughing) But good sir, open up
that bag and you’ll see three real, actual chickens. – I’d rather not see
anything in that bag. Take it away. Hello, good lady. – Hello, just three
loaves of bread, sire. – Three loaves of bread, eh? What type of bread is it again? – It’s just loaves, sir. – How many breads? – Just three. – Just three loaves
of bread, eh? – Three loaves, sir. – I do enjoy eating bread. – Will’s very interested
in what kind of bread. How many kinds of
bread are there? Will has a little bit
of a fetish about bread. – The thing about a
nice warm loaf of bread is you can put
your (bleep) in it. For the sake of
appearances, if perhaps a copper could land in my palm, and I could place
it in my pocket– – I remember the last time… – All be done with
this nasty business. – I remember you
coming to my kingdom. I wanted to remind Will
how good I was to him when he came to visit
me when I was sheriff. Do what you must. – Oh! – Sorry? – I’ve just recognized you. – Yes! Remember me? – Oh I don’t recognize you
without the clown suit on. Well very well, very
well, go across. Let’s see what we
have in your bag of, what was it again? – Three chickens. – Three chickens,
let us see here. – No pie for you. – A chicken, a
chicken, whaaaat?! – How, what, what
is, what is that?! – This is not, this is most
certainly not a chicken! – I don’t know how,
one of my chickens must have died and– – And turned into silk. – And spun itself into silk. That’s just science. – Very well, I will
have to confiscate this and I will take a fine of four. – Unfortunately for
you, four is all copper. – I would just like to
show the good people how honest I have been. For future rounds and
visits from other sheriffs. – I too, was honest
about my bread, my bread, my bread. – Oh, dear. I may have miscalculated
Meredith’s willingness to really push the contraband
when I was sheriff, especially because she
would not even bribe me. That was very well-played. Alright, we are now
half-way through the game, at the end of this
round, we will award the king’s prizes
to everyone who has the most and the second
most legit items, and then of course, contraband
will score in its own way. – I had called some
people in that first round and it came back and bit me,
so I’m back in the corner. – I’ve been living
in uh, Nottingham for about a year
now and have adapted some of the local customs. – And bacteria. – Well once you’ve spent
a lot of time in town, you know, you just adapt
to uh, how things are. I’ve seen some things. – [Wil] Yeah, I get that. – I’ve seen chickens
do things to chickens. – Oh, god, that sounds horrible. – Should not do. – Okay, looks like we’ve
put all of our things in a bag, so. – Oh, did we put our
things in already? – Yeah. – Oh, I didn’t. – Don’t believe this
one’s innocence! She’s all, oh, what is math,
how do I get into Nottingham? And she’s gotten all
this contraband through with her big doe eyes and I
just want to take her down. – I’m so confused, I
mean, I’m not confused. – I don’t know how
to play the game! – Just put in what you’ve
got, it’s like what? What’s there to
be confused about? – And it’s gonna win the game and I don’t see
what’s happening. – Wait, I forgot what I
just put in, actually. And I’m not pretending
to be ditzy, I’m actually having a
hard time with this game for some reason. I’m good now. Sorry. – So what have we brought? – The only thing I’m
trying to get past you are four loaves of bread. And I see that you
quite enjoy your bread. – What else, people? To declare. – Oh, I have apples. Three. Three apples. Three. – Well, this is a little
awkward, uh, I also have three apples. – Likely. So let’s see that’s four bread? – That’s all that’s
in there and yes, that’s all you shall find. – Now is this bribe
like because you’re, incredibly broke? – It’s a sign of my
appreciation for all you do. And if you’ll remember
from last round… – [Wil] Yeah, good
call, sheriff! – Now this is three
apples you say? – Yes. – Allegedly. – There’s nothing else in there. Nothing else I might find? – No, but you could check. – Good, okay, and I will. – Unless! (laughing) I mean you could check,
that’s really easy. Or I could give you something
super shiny and pretty, and you could just say,
you know what, move on. It’s annoying. – (coughing) Load of crap! – And anyway, do what you must. – Do what you must. That’s five right
there, that was five. That wasn’t one, that
was five that you, I just want you to know. Oh my goodness. – Anything you want
to discuss with me? – Shoot. – You don’t sound
as good as you did the last time I was here. – I had a lot of medical costs. My throat was burned in the
fire of Sherwood Forest. – Yeah, no, I get that. – Smoke damage. I’ve noticed you’ve
brought some contraband in in the past. – No, no no no this is umm,
I’m holding this for a friend. This is not mine, in fact, look, we’ll just put that, you
don’t even need to look, you don’t need to look there. You can just count on these
delicious apples in my bag. I tell you, there’s a
wonderful baker in town, I wanna make sure she
gets enough apples on account of how much
I love and respect her. If she takes it, then
I’m going to break even because I’ll get the same
amount in contraband. What I can do in the future,
is add even more contraband. I can go all contraband
if I want to, pay the same amount, and
maybe some other player will be thinking, oh he
did that when he had eight, I’ll just go ahead and take this because it’s better for me. – You know, eight in
the hand is worth, something in a bag. – Yeah. – So I will let you through. – Thank you sheriff, thank you! – What was this supposed to be? I don’t know but there’s
some bread in here. Four breads. – Four loaves of bread
you’ll find in there. – Well here’s your
bread that you may keep, and then I think you’re
gonna have to pay me eight for all this spicy pepper. – Spicy pepper! That would explain,
that explains why I was sneezing so much! Earlier, before we got here. – I don’t know how that… – This guy, am I right? – I mean have you looked at him? He’s dressed suspiciously
like someone else I know. – He wears the same things
as me, it’s not me though. It’s not me. Sick of this. – Well you may keep
your apples, and… I’m sorry, what is this
crossbow doing in here? – What is that? – What?! Wait a minute, we have a
strict no crossbow policy here in Nottingham, that is… – Oh, yeah I was just
slipping that crossbow in with the rest of the things,
I’m trying to protect my little friend, Robin Hood. – Well I’ll just go ahead
and reach into my bag here and put my entirely
legitimate what?! That’s weird, hmm. – I’m afraid after this
disappointing outing I will have to give up my post to seek medical attention. – Oh sheriff, listen,
go take a rest, you’ve earned it. (Ashley coughs) – Looks like we got a
new sheriff in town. – [Wil] New sheriff
in town, yes, alright. – Yer goshdarn right, there’s
a new sheriff in town. – Oh goodness, we’ve come
into south Nottingham. – El Paso Nottingham. – [Wil] Oh dear god. – I believe people
from El Paso Nottingham immigrated over there and so
that’s where you get that. Let’s see what y’all got for me. – [Meredith] That’s for you. – That’s for me. – I actually don’t
remember what I just put into my bag. Let’s just check one more time. – Yeah, what are those? – Check because I
forgot what I said I was gonna say they are. – Those are two
chickens, they’re just… – Yes, two peppery,
crossbowy chickens. – Two chickens. – Anything else you’d
like to disclose? – That’s it, moving
on, that’s all. Onto your friend, onto
my friend to my left. – Why does no one ever tip me? – Hello, sheriff. I can’t help but see
that you seem to have fallen on some bad times, sir. – That’s right. – And as a friend
to law enforcement, I have three loaves of bread
and in order to just sort of like speed along the bread
process, I thought that perhaps I could pay a tax on
each loaf of bread, if you would just
maybe handle that with the tax collector
for me, because as I said, I’m very interested
in getting to my seat at the butter churning concert. – The butter churning thing. – Yes, thank you, thank you
sheriff, thank you very much. I’m almost like a
deadhead but for butter. My dream is to retire
to the Land o Lakes. – Well I’ll take that
under consideration. And I’ll see what else
I’m being offered here. – I have three apples,
as you may have heard. – Anything else, apple
pie, you’re still not putting any toppings on
your gosh darn apple pie. – [Wil] It’s so
odd how no one here seems to understand
how the taxes work in this town. – I understand that
you’re very poor. I also understand that umm,
some people prefer silver? In this neck of the woods? – Why are you giving him
anything if there’s actually, what is it, what’s in there? – Apples. – How many apples? – Three. – Three apples. – Listen, sheriffs
occasionally need nice shoes. – They do, in which case,
I’m letting you know to not check it,
because if you check it, you’re gonna have to
pay me, you don’t have a lot of money to pay me. So, that’s why I’m not
giving you anything because there’s nothing
to give to bribe you. So, two chickens. – She’s incredibly good
at math all of a sudden. – It’s all of a sudden. – I’m gonna let you
slide with your chickens. – Thank you. – Three pence? – Yes, one for a loaf
of bread, to cover the, I’m confident that
you could take it to the tax collector. – Even if he thinks
I have contraband, I hope that I can sell
it enough that I’m telling the truth,
so that he decides I can’t risk losing
half my stack on this guy telling the truth. – I’m a desperate sheriff. I’m gonna have to go
and take my chances. – Well now, before you take
that bag away from me sir, maybe I could help you out. It occurs to me that
every now and then, on your way to the tax
collector that you might want to stop for a
sandwich of some sort. I hear there’s a lovely
apple pie bakery in town. So perhaps, just let
me buy you lunch. – Well I do like dessert, I
do like dessert with my lunch. What I would have is
a meat pie for lunch, and then for dessert,
I’d have another meat pie cuz I like pie. – I’m fairly certain
that eight coins could very well cover anything
that might find itself, uh, you know, sort of around. I wouldn’t mind– – I’ve heard about
you butter churner and I’m searching your satch. – Alright. And that really
didn’t go the way I wanted it to go. – Uh, I will tell you,
that if you open that, you will not benefit
as much as if you take those five pence. – Your pupils are dilating. (Ashley laughs) That’s a sign that
you’re fibbing. – [Wil] I don’t
understand this math that I keep hearing about. – I don’t believe you. – [Meredith] Wow, he’s
checking all three, checking all three. – Except yours. – [Meredith] Oh,
except for mine! – Oh hohoho, there are apples
but one of them is contraband. – Three apples, I lied
not at all, not one bit. – You didn’t lie but I
still get to keep that. – You told the technical truth. – I said I had apples,
all I had was apples. Some of them for completely
ridiculous reasons are not considered legal,
but they’re still apples. – Let’s see about
you, butter churner. – [Wil] Dr. Butter Churner,
I didn’t go to medical school for 15 years , what?! – What is this? – [Wil] What, it’s some apples. – Slide me some burnt bread. – Oh, goodness,
huh, that’s weird. What, why would anyone
bring burnt bread in? That’s strange. Dammit. Damn, damn, damn, damn, dammit. – Wow. – [Wil] Why don’t you
open up your bag, lady? – [Derrick] Yeah,
let’s see what you got. – Oh, me? Oh, well I always
tell the truth. And I said there
were two chickens. And those are two
chickens, people. – Two chickens. – Alright, people. I’m the new sheriff. Put your stuff in your
bags and hand it on over. – I’m looking around
and realizing that people don’t seem to
have a lot of legal goods and that I might be
able to score a lot in the bonus points,
just by having a few of each of
the legal goods. – Your contraband is only worth what’s printed on
the contraband. If you get lucky you
get like 50 points for all your contraband, but
if no one’s challenging you in chickens or bread
of something like that, you can really easily
just grab an extra 15, 20, 30, 40 bucks
at the end of the game, and you’ve never
really risked anything. – I can discard anything
in my hand, can I not? – [Wil] That’s true. – Because I don’t
want this contraband. – [Wil] No, who does? – Now I don’t want these apples, but I do want this
chicken and I understand that I have to take them both I do understand that. So I will be taking– – So what do you
need, two more cards? – I do need two more. – So you do have contraband
that I know of in your hand. – I do, but only
out of necessity in order to get my chickens. – And you want the
chicken because… – Because I could be the
chicken, well, king, actually. – [Meredith] Well, you could be. – I could be. – Here you are, sheriff. – Just, easy like that? – Easy. – What is it? – Umm… Apples, apples. – How many? – Three. – Three apples? – Three apples. – Okay. – Yep. – Sheriff, I’m not
gonna lie to you, I did not have a good
time the last time I came into Nottingham. I’m just bringing in some cheese in the hopes that I
can squeak out of here as head cheesemonger
and that’s it. – That’s it? – That’s it, I
have three cheeses. – You have three cheeses. – That’s all I have,
I put three cheeses, here’s my three
non-cheese cards. – And three cheeses. – Three cheeses, yeah. – Okey dokey. And you don’t feel like
putting anything on top. – I don’t need to because I’ve
learned something recently. Apparently my ability
to uh, what’s the word I’m looking for? – Bribe. – Bull (bleep) the
(bleep) out of people– – Ooooo! – Has been uh… – There’s a swearing tax! There’s a swearing tax, you guys put one down, one
down, one down. I’m around little kids
a lot, so if you swear, it’s a big no-no,
so when Will swore, I was like, (gasp)
this is not okay! Oh my goodness gracious! – I really can’t,
I really can’t. – Oh my god, okay,
I’m gonna have to move on from that real quick. – I’m putting in two chickens, cuz I’m probably not
playing aggressively enough. (laughing) – So you’re just
putting in two chickens? – Yeah. – You wanna be the chicken king. – I just wanna be chicken king. – Okay. – That’s all I want. I’m gonna lose the game
but I’ll have a crown made of chickens. My chicken king coronation
outfit will of course include my crown of chickens
and my feather robes, and then I have a necklace
made of chicken feet. – One more time, what’s in here? – Two chickens. – And you’ve got? – I have three cheeses. – You have three cheeses. – And that is all. – Three apples. – You have three apples. And you have? – Three cheeses. – Three cheeses. And you have two
chickens, I’m gonna just check yours real quick. – Okay, good, I’m glad. – [Meredith] Are you glad? – I’m really glad, cuz I
could also use the money. – You could use the money? Because you have two chickens. (laughing) – I’m very afraid to try to get any contraband through,
I’m not a very good liar. – And this is yours
with your three apples. And if you didn’t
want me to check it… – I would pay you. – You would pay me? – Right, I’d bribe you, yeah. – So you’d like me to check it. – [Wil] Such ugly language. – No, I, there’s no
need to check it. – I will do whatever
you tell me to do. If you tell me to check
it, I’ll check it, if you tell me not
to, I will not. – You should check it. – I should check it? – Yeah. – I should check it? – Yeah. – Because you have three apples? – Yeah. (laughing) A very generous
sheriff over here. – I’m just saying,
I honor my word. Here’s six for you,
that’s really fun. And you get to keep your apples. Lookit, everybody
gets everything. Everybody but me. – She called both of
them, they were both telling her the truth. I’m in a fantastic
position right now, I wish I had stuffed my bag
with a thousand crossbows. You’re not having a good day. And I don’t want to add to that. – Will is very convincing to me, I cannot figure out if he’s
telling the truth or lying, and he seems so sincere. I’m believing Will. I’m believing him. This is so upsetting. – But if he didn’t
want you to check, he’d be saying,
go ahead check it, cuz he’d get money from you. – No, he’s doing a good job,
whatever he’s doing is doing. He’s doing it really well. I too, will do whatever
you tell me to do. If you want me to check
it, I’ll check it. – I don’t want you
to open that bag and have a bad day. – Then you can go. – Okay, thank you. Thank you very much. – [Ashley] For no bribe even. – Thank you. – What’s you get in there? Please tell me no contraband. I’m gonna die! – Look at that! – I’m having such a good
day, oh, it was a good… – I believed everything
you were saying, it was so good, especially,
ah, this is the worst. – He’s the cheese king. – My heart is broken,
I was on such a roll. – [Wil] I’d love to
be the cheese king, I love being the cheese king! – You’re the cheese king. – Speaking of being
the cheese king, well hello, everyone,
welcome to Nottinglandtown. – There’s that mead again. – [Wil] It’s good to
see you all again! I am of course,
ahem, I am of course Sheriff Tellsthetruthalot,
and I thought that perhaps it would be in
everyone’s best interests to speed this process
along for a mere, 10 bucks. A person sneaking one
item of contraband in is never gonna pay
10 dollars to me, but someone sneaking
two, maybe three, very likely will, cuz they’re
still making out ahead, and I don’t care because
I’m gonna get 30 bucks, which is gonna be more in
aggregate than whatever they all sneak through. I will let the bags
go by, and we can all be on our way to
tonight’s delightful butter churning
contest, yes, mm-hmm. Don’t even (bleep)
mention margarine to me. Margarine’s for dicks. – I uh, am very happy
to say, that I have four bread. – Hmmm. – Four bread, bread king. – Seems like someone here
might want me to open a bag. Hmm, hello, yes,
welcome, come on. – How you doing Sheriff? – I’m good, step up,
chop chop, let’s go! – Three cheeses. – Really? – Three cheeses. – Really, three cheeses? – Absolutely. – You think that you
can just come in here and be king cheese all
of a sudden, the big man, the top cow, the– – Sheriff, you obviously
have that covered, I’m not trying to
be king of nothing. – The Reddit master, really? You’re not trying
to take it past with maybe having one more cheese
than someone else around here? – No. – Hmmm, right, and
what do you have? – I, too have four cheeses. – Really? – I mean, I’m sorry
did I say cheese, I meant bread. I have four breads, sorry. (laughing) No, no, I just got all
excited when she said four breads and
then he said cheese, that’s why I said cheese. But I have four, I
too have four breads! Look I put my little thing
on bread right there. – Oh, what I had hoped
would be a quick, simple, easy, quick
greasing of my palm, a simple border crossing has now turned into an interrogation. – Sorry, sorry! – I cannot believe
not a single player took me up on my
expedited thing. These guys clearly don’t
have TSA pre-check. I’m not gonna lie. You don’t impress me much. (laughing) There’s one cheese king in
this town, sir, and it’s me! – You shall be the
cheese king, sir. – I could let this bag go by. But I have to somehow
make it all right. – I will give you one
of the cheeses in there. – Really? Trading out of the bag
when you’re trying to bribe the sheriff can
be a really great move, because you don’t
have to honor it if you don’t have in the bag what you claim to
have in the bag. A lot of sheriffs
will take that deal because they’re thinking great, I’m gonna get points for
having whatever that item is, and now I have a chance at
the King’s bonus as well. I’ll take a cheese
and two coppers. – A cheese and two coppers. – Yes. – Oh, sheriff, I don’t have
much to work with, do I? – Put it on the bag. (laughing) – Oh my! Are you spitting on
the table, Will, eww. Oh, my. – Very well, I’ll
take your cheese. – Thank you, sir. – I will not need
to look in your bag. And you, madame. – I want to be the bread
queen, and if I have four and I give you two of my
breads, then you’ll have two, and I’ll still be
the bread, I just wanna be the bread queen. – Then why would you
give away your bread? – Right, and why would you bring so many bread across? Just a moment, I
need my thinking cup. – Oh, no. – Oh, no, I don’t
like the thinking cup. It’s very frightening. The thinking cup is
very frightening. His thinking cup. – Alright, I’ll take
your two breads. – Right, that means
I get to keep this? – Yes. – Right. – Now you, Red. – I have four bread,
I’m gonna be bread king. – Wait, you have four breads? – I have four bread,
I’m gonna be bread king. – We’ve come back
around, you forgot, you didn’t play
the dangerous game. – But I don’t believe that she’s got four bread, so that’s why. – Nor do I. – I think I can be
the bread queen. – I hope you’re lying to me. – There’s contraband,
there’s contraband. – What are we gonna do? – I really hope
you’re lying to me. – There’s contraband,
there’s contraband. – Oooo, it’s heavy now. – Open that bag and
show me contraband. Please show me contraband
in that bag, come on. – So you’re checking, wait,
does this mean you’re checking– – I’m not, I’m not doing
it, I’m not doing it. But please show me contraband,
please show me, come on. Come on, yes! Alright. – And how many breads? Four breads. – Open your bag. Your bag is free,
it’s safe, it’s clear. Good lord, man! I am not a good sheriff,
open your bag, madam. – Did I say I had bread? – You did. – Is that a bread? – It is. – Is that a bread? – It is. – Awesome. (laughing) – No no, you said you
would give him bread. That was part of your– – That was how I was
gonna get two breads. – But I was lying. – No, that’s binding. – Oh, it is? – He doesn’t have
to give him any, what was it, cheese,
because he has no cheese. But you have bread, so
you owe him whatever bread you promised him. – That’s not what I thought. – Did you promise
him two breads? – I did. – It seems that a life of crime is not cut out for you, madam. – Oh, that’s so upsetting. – Ladies and gentleman,
it is now time to score. (mischievous music) Tell us again how many
Nottingham bucks you got without pulling any
contraband through? – No contraband! – 171, I did bring in
one contraband apple. – That’s true, that’s true. – I did bring in one
contraband, but I was the king of almost all the things. – You were. – Except cheese. – So, what this
teaches us, kids, is that crime didn’t pay today. – But it usually does. – Sometimes. – Sometimes it does. I’ll see you guys over
on the losers’ couch. I’ll see if I can
smuggle some mead or something over there
so it’s not as bad for us. Congratulations. – I just, you
know, it’s actually kind of exciting to
lose, cuz I’ve never really done it before. – Well now you have. – Hi, Wil! – Hey, Wil. – You know, it’s funny
you mention that, because I was thinking
how last season on TableTop, you won. – I did win. – I know, it was amazing, right? – It was the most
incredible win. – This year, the winners
get to keep the trophy. (Meredith gasps) – What, no, I got to
keep my certificate, it was so great I got
it with a little red, with a crossed-out
champion of equestrian, whatever I was, I don’t know. I won a trophy. – Ashley Clements,
it is my honor to present to you, the
TableTop trophy of awesome! – For cricket. – That’s exactly
what it is, yes! Uh, let me engrave your
name on it for you. (Will making growling sounds) – Going to put it on my– – Mind your hands. Alright. There you go, that is for you, would you like to
make a victory speech? – Oh, uh, yes, I
would like to thank my parents for raising me right, teaching me to be
honest, which is how I won this
game, and for Will for believing me when
I lied, even though I was being honest. – I am not good at sussing
out people who lie. Congratulations. Thank you very
much for watching, thanks for subscribing,
and until next time on TableTop, play more games! (upbeat music)


  • Pedalwerk

    34:22 – missed such a good opportunity for the joke 'coronation chicken' 😛
    Brilliant game play…

  • iHelloway

    14:08 Oh Cheesus 😀 classic same as with Dick & Pickle

  • iHelloway

    19:38 … I died from laughter xD

  • Chris Dam

    The negotiations were short.

  • Yeo Shao Qi

    will is a good host

  • Liam Pitney

    Anyone else see will and have an irresistible urge to roll nat 1s

  • rjtheripper931

    28:24 sounds like he's getting a blowjob. Lmao!!!!!!

  • redguy12344321

    Whenever I play this, I am an openly corrupt sheriff. 3 items 5g no questions asked

  • Kelly Pagano

    It’s like “Bullshit” with props. I like it.

  • Drag0nS0ul1226 _

    Doctor Who Yeet

  • Black Corp

    spits coffee at hot bread joke

  • Ильяс Маметов

    omg, I was laughing from start to the end

  • Eion Grady

    The reason I like this game is because you can lie about the number of items in your sack.

  • Downside dn

    "this bag seems very still for having 3 chickens in it…"
    the chickens are dead… i would think the bag would be still

  • Andru (Zoular)

    42:52 isn't Derrick's score the only that's correct?

  • wadenkrampf0815

    After I have watched several videos of this channel I have learned one valuable lesson:

    Will lies ALL the time.

    But he is hilarious while doing it, sooo it's okay-ish.

  • IceBot 360

    Wil’s bag is the bag of cheese

  • amelia lee

    Wil is annoying lol

  • TJ Ortiz!


  • Dylan Tejada

    Never eat bread that Wil offers you.

  • Ben Wong

    I had a permanent smile for 45 minutes.

  • Big Dream

    19:45 Don't let Will Wheaton prepare your sandwich. 🍞😳🍞

  • Tyler Dunn

    Drink every time they say "there's a new sheriff in town"

  • Alex K

    This would make a great video game

  • 穴居人


  • Michael Simao

    Crime might not always pay but monopolies always do

  • Maxaphorical

    I went and bought the go-first-dice. We’ll see how they go.

  • Chris Dam

    The negotiations were short

  • Daniel Wright

    Say as if it were Nottingum

  • Zellder

    I win this game quite often because no one in my family trusts me. So I never do any contraband and they always check so I make out like a bandit.

  • Mararagi

    Ashley is ideal gf 😍😍😍

  • Nicholas Ng

    She believed Will just like Sheldon believed that WIll's granny died

  • mark stephens

    sorry wil's poor over acting ruins it for me

  • Part-Time Games

    Sheriff of Bellingham is amazing

  • Bethany McDuffie

    I love how many comments are just complaining that Meridith wasn't aware that there are a ton of different kinds of bread.

  • MrBigbenny23

    someone should tell wil there is an actual sheriff of nottingham, imagine playing sheriff of nottingham….with the sheriff of nottingham

  • Dale Trevors

    I don't know how many people say this, but Wil – aren't you Johnny Depp's long-lost brother? Such a resemblance, an acting skill and the voice! Is there an actual connection?

  • Chet McGovern


  • Paul Schroeder

    19:47 I just about choked on my food! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • Julia Saeore

    I've played this, and isn't there an exchanging of items before claiming?

  • mythdusterds

    I just played Sheriff of Nottingham tonight with a four people who never played it before. So glad this video exist.


    So in love with Ashley Clements
    One of the most endearing and beautiful women I have ever observed.

  • Darren Murphy

    Will roleplaying o my god 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  • Kevin Moreira

    They said Ashley only smuggled in 1 contraband. How did she score 35 contraband points then?

  • F F

    Was I the only one who noticed that they butchered the score totals? Derrick's total is the only one that's correct. Meredith's total adds up to 96, not 117. Will's total adds up to 111, not 140. And Ashley's total adds up to 200, not 171

  • Ficklestein

    Shoulda said "No Paso, Nottingham" lol

  • Ficklestein

    Also that person in purple was annoying as all fucking hell, especially at 34:00

  • Justin paquet

    will wheaton should dial it back, he hurts the channel with his trite and humorless bullshit

  • oliver pritchardjones

    Can we have will as the sheriff In the Robin Hood remake

  • William T. Street

    The host is probably playing right because i want to punch his smug face.

  • Matthew McCann

    Will takes a shot at citizens united… NICE. 😁

  • thatguy 69

    If you don't mind what kind of dice are they and how many sides

  • zhiwan boi

    its looks so boring when you guys play it

  • Bernard Miller Jr.

    Unfortunately their site is kinda outdated.

  • jamesthemaniac

    But…. how did Will only get 6 points in contraband? He got a ton of contraband through!!!

  • Callum Davis

    36:52 um…. Will I believe you have mixed up cheese and ham.

  • AttackChoper97

    The thing about a nice warm loaf of bread is you can put your dick in it

  • The Rabbit

    Meredith was scummy in this game. "What happen to girls take care of girls" when she was sheriff

  • Jmansammy Chase

    What if you said “I Have 2 bread and 2 crossbows… would they check you? Or are u lying and then they have to pay you hmmm

  • Alt-Wrong

    I heard about yer butter churnin', I'm checking your satch

  • Jeff Halalay

    amateurs 😂

  • Edward Simson

    There are lots of types of bread such as Bara Brith, Barrel, Batch, Bloomer, Buttery Rowies, Cob, Coburg, Cornish Splits, Cottage, Farmhouse, Plait, Rolls, Sandwich, Sliced wrapped, Soda Bread, Stottie, Baguette, Bagel, Brioche, Chapatti, Ciabatta, Foccacia,
    Naan, Tiger bread, Tortilla, MantouBalep Korkun, Bazlama, Cesnica, Damper, Mantou, Melanpan, Pane Ticinese, Vánocka

  • kevin beltran


  • David A

    Awesome group, absolutely hilarious episode!

  • D-.-RAiL Gaming

    Bring this show back.

  • D-.-RAiL Gaming

    This is not a very good game

  • E Mcclellan

    I know it's been years since this was released, but you don't have to give your bribe at the start of the declaration, and in fact, you don't have even bribe them to send your bag. Bribe them to open yours? Sure. In fact, why stop there? Why not bribe them to open somebody else's? It says in the rules (paraphrasing) You are allowed to make any deal with the sheriff, that they must follow, unless it is about future actions.

  • Tom Rauhe

    "How many different loaves of bread are there" can ONLY come from an American of all countries. 🙄

  • Onion


  • Rosegold goblin

    You know the thing about a good loaf of bread is you can put your dick in it

  • Angel Garcia

    I just watched this. WOW. Now i wanna buy the game and say, QQWWHHAAAAAT?! IS DIS? 20:20

  • MewSeeko

    14:09 "lord cheesus…"

  • Lorcan McIvor

    they are all so cringey

  • CapuletRose

    Merediths accent is actually quite good. The others sucked tho lol

  • Rebecca Free

    I want to play this game and just place a small bribe on every single bag I do so it's a toss up on whether or not it has contraband and they'll never be able to tell.

  • Andrew Harper

    I've lived in Nottingham. Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem would have been more plausible as a pub.

  • Victor Holguin

    Only watched cuz of Ashley

  • Waki Paki

    42:12 Daaaaaaamn Derek got legs

  • bleachbleachBLEACHER

    One time playing this game, I got a bunch of contraband through to the market with the following conversation:

    Sheriff – "Look me in the eye and swear that there is no contraband in your bag."

    Me – Leaning in close "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good… wait." Appears confused

    Sheriff – "Dang it, now I don't know if you're lying! Fine, keep your bag."

  • Evelyn O Dono

    Is it bad I really don’t like the girl in the purple attitude, she just seems annoying and ditzy.

  • DarienWallace1

    How did she roll a 44

  • your mom

    shut up wesley!

  • Fur10usAL

    Love this game! Played it last night with friends and had a great time!

  • DsW

    These guests are great haha

  • Ivan Zovkic

    Ashley is so beautiful.

  • mienzillaz

    i'm half way through this episode and i can't stand their role playing in this.. you are all actors.. funny..

  • The Rabbit

    I hate Meredith in this episode, because Ashley cuts her some slack and Meredith doesn't play that girls help girls in return.

  • Torretta13


  • Nuraby _

    Derek inspecting every bag only to find nothing but legit apples never fails to get me to laugh. His "Where are all these apples coming from?" is hilarious.

  • Liam VU

    almost read “shrek” instead of “sheriff” lol

  • Craig Greg

    The thing about warm bread is…….

  • Julian Pienz

    Is there a Chico's Tacos in El Paso Nottingham?

  • T Braddy


  • joeyjojojunior1794

    I always thought that Wesley should shut up but we can see how fun he is at the gaming table. What a joy to watch him having fun with all the gamers!!!

  • joeyjojojunior1794

    18:40 loved the accents…

  • joeyjojojunior1794

    20:45 When you refute anti vaxxers and moon hoax conspiracists…

  • joeyjojojunior1794

    35:44 1,000 crossbows cracked me up

  • thisisAlexandra

    I live in Nottingham, UK and you should hear how we pronounce Nottingham! 😂

  • Jackson Allen

    Why does his role play voice sound like buzz lightyear

  • Justin Schwartz

    For the love of god Geek & Sundry bring back Will Wheaton and this show its freaking gold.


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