Super Mario’s Frankenstein & Haunted House Halloween – Phelous
The spoooooky Super Mario Halloween continues! And if the Super Show isn’t scary enough for you, well, this time we’ll also be facing the Mario World cartoon! (SFX: thunder crashing) Muahahahaha! ha… Ha… ha. I don’t know why I’m laughing. That just means that I had to watch this more than once to make this video. ♪ (Super Mario Bros. Super Show theme) ♪ ♪ It’s the Mario Brothers, and plumbing’s their game!
Found the secret warp tunnel while working on a drain! ♪ ♪ They’ll lend the princess a hand, in the mushroom land
Talking action with the plumbers, you’ll be hooked on the Brothers! ♪ So in “Count Koopula,” Bowser was Dracula. I wonder who he’s gonna be in “Koopenstein!” The live-action segment for “Koopenstein” was “Baby Mario Love.” (Baby Mario’s oboxious crying in Yoshi’s Island) I do not share that love. This is another one of the live-action segments which is harder to find these days, as they didn’t include it on the Shout Factory release. The reason being that there’s a cover of “Baby Love” sung by the fictional singer “Susanna Ross” during it. Mario: Oh, it’s Hercules. You know, Luigi, I mean, our lives are dull. Phelous: It’s the game everyone’s been wanting! The dull lives of the Mario Brothers! I wish I had a dull life where I occasionally turned into a cartoon going through different parody worlds and a puppet stuck its head through my wall! Wait, do I really want that? Luigi: You never know when glamour is gonna knock at your door. (SFX: knocking on door) Luigi: Hah? The queen of glitz and glamour herself, Susanna Ross, heh? (as Luigi): Yeah, we’re not doing that! Susanna: The other Sublimes missed their plane! Phelous: Ohhhh. The Sublimes! Cause “Baby Love” was sung by The Supremes! (dorky laughter) Man, the Super Show universe is quite weird when you think about it. Like, they get visits by real people and stuff sometimes, Luigi: You’re Nicole Eggert! Oh, it’s you, Cyndi Lauper!
(BGM: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”) Cyndi Lauper: I was supposed to meet Captain Lou Albano for lunch! Phelous: Then they have weird fictional versions of real things like the Sublimes, or weird mish-mashes like Ernie Hudson being a real life knockoff of Winston! And then a couple of times the Mario Brothers got visited by the original live-action depiction of Inspector Gadget, played by Maurice LaMarche! Inspector Gadget: No thank you, Mario Brothers! I think I’ll leave before you can do anything else to help!
(SFX: springs creaking) Phelous: And Mario says his life is dull! Susanna: How well do you boys sing? (Mario and Luigi singing horribly) Nuh uh uh! We’ll fake it! We’ll fake it! Fake it till you make it! Do the Fake-io! Mario: We arrived in the Swiss Cheese Alps to rescue the villagers from a mad scientist. We figured the troublemaker had to be Koopa. Well, that’s awfully presumptuous of you, Mario. Where’s your evidence? Because he called himself “Dr. Koopenstein.” Uh, heh heh… well… It could still be “Koopa Troopa”! (annoyed) And don’t think I missed that Swiss Cheese Alps thing. creepy mushroom guy, in a voice that sounds like Orko: Welcome, Princess Toadstool! Phelous: What the garbage is this? The town of the reject Smurfs? May I present you with the key to our humble village! Thank you, Mr. Mayor! Phelous: Ha ha, we tricked you! Now Phanto is gonna kill you instead of us! (as Mario): Why, you no good mushroom son of a! (Phelous FX: Mario 2 throwing sound) (Mario 2 game over music) Mouser: (with yet ANOTHER fake accent) I better warn his royal Koopaness that ze Marios are here! (as Toad): How dare he call us the Marios! We’re the Toads! Right, guys? (as Luigi) Heheh, go dig us up some treasure, Captain! (as Toad): Awww, well, at least I’m not a knockoff Ghostbuster! (as Luigi): Yeah, you’re right! Forgetting how to jump’s a much better game! Bowser: Now all I need to complete my monster Robot Troopa is a brain! Unfortunately, that’s the one thing this entire kingdom lacks. Bowser: If only you weren’t so stupid, Mouser, I could use yours! (sings to the tune of Saved by the Bell theme)
♪ Mouser’s alright cause he’s saved by the stupidity! ♪ Mouser: The Mario Brothers and Princess Toadstool are in the village! Bowser: Those plumbers may not be too bright, but between the both of them, I can make one good brain! Bowser is gonna rip out the Mario Brothers’ brains, smush them together, and then shove them into a robot. I just wanted that to be clear. Bowser: Good work, Mouser! (as Bowser): Ya stupid jerk-off! Bowser: Now, go capture them and bring them to me. If you fail, I’ll feed you to my monster! Phelous: That’s… kind of an empty threat, Koopa, considering if Mouser fails you, you won’t have a brain to put in your monster. So it won’t be eating anything. And since it’s a robot, why does it eat anything anyway? (dramatic organ music, thunder crashing) Toad: I’ll climb up that wall and let you dudes in! (SFX: panting with exhaustion) Hurry up, Toad! I’m starving! Don’t you ever think about anything but food? What else is there? Now I’m just imagining Mario talking about how much he hates Mondays, and kicking Luigi off the table. Mario, Luigi, and Peach get caught by Mouser and some Shyguys, which means it’s all up to Toad. (SFX: Mario 2 climbing noises) Toad: Uh… Hi, guys! (flat voice) Yeah, I can’t believe Toad immediately failed. There’s a shock. Koopenstein then calls them jerk-offs. …I don’t know, he seems to have a thing about that. Toad actually manages to get away from the Shyguys, using something he knows about very well. Greed. (throwing sound) (Piranha Plant spitting, fuse hissing) (bomb SFX) Toad: Toad-a-ronimo! (jumping, glass shattering) You can’t just jump on Bowser! This show is so fake. The shock of Toad being so competent is summed up rather well by Mouser here. Mouser: Aaaaaahhhh!! Phelous: King Koopa then falls into his little brain zapper, and lightning strikes, frying him to death. Bowser: Help! Aaaaahhwaaahhgwaaahh!!!
(SFX: electric zapping noises) (monster growl) (ending theme music) Seriously, fairly graphic there, Super Show. Mario: He’s turned into the Koopenstein Monster! Phelous: You were pretty ready with that name, Mario. Almost like something like this has happened before. Don’t know how Bowser getting zapped put bolts in his head, though. Koopenstein’s monster starts attacking the village, which is rather deserved, considering the stupid villager mobs are pretty much the ones that cause all the problems with the monster in almost every Frankenstein movie ever. (throwing noise) Mario: Whooooaaahh! (clock bells clanging) (monster growling) (boinging noise, clock bells ringing) Phelous: Uh, whaaat? How did that bird hit Koopa there? I mean, even in the next shot, it shows how much higher up the top of the clock tower is than Koopenstein’s monster! (dramatic music, Bowser growling) (as Mario): I sure wish I had a raccoon tail! Or a cape! …Or my hat had wings! Or a propeller or I was part squirrel or bee or my clothes turned black! Mama mia, I sure have a lot of weird ways to fly! Mario: What happened? We lost! (ending theme again) Phelous: This is where we get our music replacement on the DVDs, as originally “Weird Science” was playing during this part. (BGM: “Weird Science”) Mouser: Holy cannelloni! Master, I kept Princess Toadstool from escaping. (grunts) (Phelous SFX: ripping sound, eating noise) I demand you let me go, you big bully! (growl) *GASP* *Beauty gasp* You heard him, Princess! (as Mouser): Arrrr! Don’t forget that! Mario, Luigi and Toad decide to use some Famiclone tech to get the Bowser bot up and running, and to show how rogue Mario has gone, he uses an Atari joystick to control it instead of a NES controller! And to think I once looked up to you, Mario! You disgust me! I’m pretty impressed, though, that Mario has a wireless controller for this guy. You’d better watch out, though, or Nintendo will add some pointless motion controls to it. (as Mario): I have to shake the controller to move him! I hate it– I mean, uh, it’s so fun! Bowser: (growling) Well, I see they’ve progressed far. (more growling, robotic whirring noises) (electric zapping noises) (falling, Bowser growling) (as Toad): Well, they’re dead. mushroom guy: And now, your reward! It’s full of holes! It’s a Swiss cheese pizza! Where’s the key to that pizza parlor? I gotta teach these guys how to do it right! Ugh, that Mario and his disrespect of other cultures’ …pizza. Mario: Ehhhh? Luigi: Be honest! What do you think? (Ryan from the Christmas episode screaming) Susanna: I think my career is over! Yeah, that seems about right. music: “Baby Love”
♪ Tell me, what did I do wrong? ♪ You want the… full list? (flat voice) You know, I said it before, but this show is quite silly. But hey, look, they got some “Tile Game Pizza” on stage. So that’s exciting! I hope they got three bucks off! Raphael: Time’s up! Three bucks off. So unfortunately, there’s no Halloween-themed episode of The Adventures of Super Mario 3, so we’re stuck going back to the worst of the Mario cartoons… Mario World. opening theme: ♪ Super Mario! …World. ♪ Phelous: So our Halloween episode of Super Disappointment Brothers is called “Ghosts ‘R’ Us.” Which might sound a little familiar, as that was also the name of the first episode of The Real Ghostbusters. Winston: Ah, yes! How sweet it is! Peach: (yelling) OOOOGTAAAAR! Where could that lost cave kid be? Here’s a better question! Who cares where he is?! Phelous: Oh, crap, it looks like Mario got the stupid Big Head Powerup. It doesn’t help him at all. It just makes him look stupid. Yoshi: Ooh, creepety spookety scary! Yoshi hope no ghosts enchanted forest! Why did they have to write Yoshi like a baby? WHY? But hey, at least he’s wearing boots, so there’s that. Luigi: Yeeeez! You! I thought you were a ghost! Peach: Watch out, Luigi! It’s the most terrible Koopa wizard in the entire Dino World! Kamek? Peach: Wisenheimer! Ohhh. Wisenheimer. That seems about right for this show. Since Kamek only became a thing in the games after Super Mario World, we instead get Wisenheimer. Wizard: That’s WIZENHEIMER! (dorky voice) Ah! Much better. Yoshi: Yoshi boogie! Peach: Yoshi’s running away! Phelous: Well, I’d complain again about them making Yoshi into a wimpy baby, but I suppose running away is in Yoshi’s character. And getting away from this show probably is the right call. Wizenheimer: This is my enchanted forest. Whoever enters it becomes my prisoners! Now, plunge yourselves into that warp pipe! Geez, more like “Lazyheimer,” am I right? (as Wizenheimer): Uhhh, kidnap yourselves for me. I’m too busy standing around here aimlessly in the woods! Peach: No way! How do you feel about Bob-ombs? Luigi: Those, we’re not so crazy about! Phelous: Seriously? He produces one bomb and you guys all kidnap yourself for him? I hate to say it, but Toad’s looking way more competent than the three of you right now! Yoshi: Ooh, Yoshi wish he wasn’t alone! Oogtar: Dino-dude raaadical cool! Yoshi change mind! Yoshi wish he was alone! That WOULD be the smartest thing said in this cartoon, if it wasn’t an edit by me to make Yoshi say that about Oogtar. Oogtar capture Yoshi! (as Oogtar): Oogtar giant pile of crap! Oogtar annoying and not useful in the slightest! (SFX: chomping noises, jumping) Oogtar: Dino-bunga! Heeeeelp! Oogtar be plant food! Oogtar goner! (SFX: Yoshi’s tongue shooting out) Aaaaaahhhh!!! Yoshi: Mmmm! Phelous: Oh, but this cartoon despises its audience far too much to have Oogtar die! He needs to be around to insult our intelligence by pointing out what just happened! Oogtar: Whoah! Yoshi eat Piranha Plant! (applauding) Yoshi: Excuse me. You excused! Dino dude save Oogtar. Yoshi Oogtar’s friend again? No Oogtar fwiend! But plumbers and pwincess worried about Oogtar! Oogtar king of jungle! Oogtar not lost! (making laughing/crying noise) I HATE IT! Yes, please, Mario World, give us long drawn-out scenes of only Yoshi and Oogtar both speaking annoying baby English. It’s such an audio treat! Well, one kind of neat thing is the Magikoopa takes the Give Up Trio to a ghost house! Though all he does is chain them to a wall. Really lame compared to Count Koopula and his waterboarding Mario in his torture chamber! Ewww! Luigi, get out of here with your flesh-covered gloves! That’s an error that keeps appearing in this episode, too. Wizenheimer: I just love to have people over to… hang around! Phelous: Yep, that’s about what that joke deserved. Luigi: We’re trapped like hairballs in a lint filter! Only Yoshi can save us now! Phelous: So we’re dead! Yoshi: Oh, Yoshi hope no ghosts inside! Oogtar not afraid of ghosts! Phelous: Oh. But then he’s scared. (flat voice) Ha ha ha. Oogtar: Cave caterpillar! Phelous: It’s called a Wiggler, you idiot! It’s not even in a cave! And I’d question why it’s aggroed already when they didn’t jump on it, but it probably heard the audio vomit of Oogtar and Yoshi, which is enough to drive anyone into a rage! Yoshi and Oogtar run away, saying nothing of merit for a short eternity, until Yoshi gets a Red Bull powerup. And now that he’s flying, he eats the Wiggler. (SFX: Yoshi pulling with his tongue) (BGM: Super Mario World music)
(chewing noises) Cause Yoshi needed wings to eat that guy. Stupid Yoshi. Stupid Oogtar. Stupid everything. I do love, though, that sad face of the Wiggler as it’s about to meet its end. Yoshi: Ooh, yum! Way to bug off, dino-bud! (?) Phelous: Ew. So, like, Oogtar doesn’t have anything on under his little cave dress, so he’s just rubbing his chode all over Yoshi’s back. Disgusting. Yoshi takes them back to the warp pipe that the Wiener Bros kidnapped themselves into earlier, and Oogtar’s eyebrows disappear. Which really doesn’t affect his level of ugly. Oogtar not tell Yoshi Koopa wizard is in haunted house! Yoshi not go in there! Yoshi too scared! Phelous: Well, it’s annoying to hear Yoshi blab on about being scared again. But it is also in his character to not go inside ghost houses. (deadpan voice) Really, this cartoon is a perfect one-to-one translation of the game. (dorky laugh) Oogtar not afraid he can’t. Oogtar eat ghosts for breakfast! (as Oogtar): Aaaahh! Oogtar eaten by ghost! Oogtar dead! So Oogtar’s brilliant plan is just to go knock on the door and ask for Mario and co. back. I know he’s a cave doofus, but come on! Magiloser of course zaps Oogtar and teleports him to where he conveniently has one more set of shackles! But he screws it up and materializes only Oogtar’s head. (as Oogtar): Aaaaahh! Dino-super dead, dude! Game over!
(BGM: Super Mario World death music) Hmm. It’s almost like I want Oogtar dead or something. Peach: We’ve been looking all over for you! Me come to rescue you! (as Oogtar): Suddenly Oogtar shackled to nothing! Yoshi manages to not be quite as stupid as Oogtar and triangle-blocks into the ghost house, where he has to avoid the… ghosts of teeth who died to cavities, I guess. Wizenheimer: Take this, lizard lips! (SFX: Yoshi’s tongue sticking out) My magic wand! Ohhh, without it I’m powerless! Wow. I sure am missing King Koopa right about now. Mario does what he could have done when they first met Magimoron and jumps on his head, snapping his neck, immediately killing him. Peach: Nice going, guys. Now how do we get out of here? (as Luigi): I know this might sound crazy, Princess, but how about the door? Oogtar: Nooo problemo! Phelous: I do really like the utter disdain Toadstool shows for Oogtar right here. This is when she realized she made a huge mistake finding this retro reject. Oogtar: Oogtar sorry he get friends in trouble. (as Mario): Haha, that’s not going to cut it this time, Oogtar! (fireball SFX) Aaaaahhhh!! Dino-ultra dead, dude!
(Phelous FX: burning flames) Everyone: (laughter) Phelous: There really is such a difference going from the Super Mario Brothers Super Show to the Mario World cartoon. The fun goofiness with some decent gags is gone, and just replaced with juvenile BS. The Super Show isn’t perfect or anything, but it’s a much easier watch than Mario World. I know I like to make jokes about Toad, but I’d take him any time over Yoshi and Oogtar! It is such a chore to listen to those two! Especially Oogtar, and this episode was loaded with their inane banter! Some believe Oogtar and his annoying-as-shit ways are long dead. But others think his spirit still haunts this place. Oogtar, you really blew in life! But for some reason I want to talk to you now that you’re dead! Talk to me through my little… ghost thing! It’s technical. One of my little toys. (sound of static, winding noise) (flat electronic voice) (spooky stock music) Wow. Class A proof that Oogtar is a dino-douche. This cannot be debunked. [“Oh Phelous 80s Style”] (fake serious voice) Now perhaps the most compelling part of my spirit investigation with Dino Douche Oogtar is that I’m not resorting to orbs. Why settle for dust and bugs when I have this ghostly display appearing all around me? I have debunked this as being a natural phenomenon, so a ghost did it. Also, look at how this “Spooky” sign manifests out of nowhere! This is irrefutable Class A proof that this was, in fact, spooky.