CGR Undertow – THE BUREAU: XCOM DECLASSIFIED review for Xbox 360

Making things takes other things. It takes creativity, it takes inspiration…and it takes time. In fact, that’s a big one. Time. Generally, the more of it you spend on something, the better it’s going to turn out, right? Well, except for when it turns out worse. That’s because there’s a tipping point, and the correlation between the time you spend on something and the quality of that thing…starts to change. Like the military’s response to the Roswell incident. The army

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CGR Undertow – BLOOD OF THE WEREWOLF review for Xbox 360

This review is really a story of two games. One game is, this…awesome action-platformer. A game that’s inspired by the past, but never bogged down by it. A game that packs a challenge, but plays so well that it’s rarely frustrating. This is the story of a great game. But it’s also the story of a surprisingly generic game. A game that seems to promise style, but never seems to deliver. A game that’s kind of boring, stylistically…and, honestly has

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CGR Undertow – DOLLAR DASH review for Xbox 360

How many friends do you have? I mean, not in total. In your vicinity. Like, do you live with some of the guys? You know, a little ménage à braj situation? Or hey, maybe your sister has some cute friends who dig Bomberman. In either case, you should get this game. Otherwise, you could probably pass on Dollar Dash. You could also…tell your sister to make hotter friends. I guess it makes sense for a multiplayer game to, uh…you know,

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CGRundertow NEVERDEAD for Xbox 360 Video Game Review

My favorite band is Megadeth. One of my favorite songs from their album Th1rt3en is “NeverDead.” That song was written for this game, and it is featured quite prominently throughout. And as if that’s not enough to pique my interest, cleavage. So obviously, NeverDead and I got off on the right foot. Along with the game’s killer song, sexy lady and pseudo-Suda style, its premise immediately caught my attention. NeverDead is based entirely on dismemberment, and blasting demons while blasting

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CGRundertow HULK HOGAN’S MAIN EVENT for Xbox 360 Video Game Review

Spoiler alert. Hulk Hogan is an **** He seems to operate under the perpetual delusion that heís not only bigger than the company currently signing his checksócase in point, that 10-point font is the only time youíll see TNA mentioned in this freaking thingóbut also, in fact, bigger than his entire industry. His ego buries talent, kills promotions and is exactly the thing that holds professional wrestling back. But with all that said, Iím not sure the Hulkster has ever

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CGR Undertow – METRO 2033 review for Xbox 360

�Never play a sequel until you�ve played the original.� Wise words. Of course, made famous by Sir Richard Arkwright, the 18th century inventor and pioneer of the factory system. It was at the end of the Industrial Revolution when Arkwright answered his critics by saying, �Oh, forget about disease and pollution and poverty. And never play a sequel until you�ve played the original.� I should�ve listened to Richard Arkwright. Good ol� Dick. See, I recently played Metro: Last Light, and

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CGR Undertow – ASCENT OF KINGS review for Xbox 360

A lot of times, longer games are considered better games. I don’t share this perspective. The older you get, the more sh*t you have to do, the less million-hour games your schedule allows. And that’s why I like Nostatic Software. They get it, you know? They make games you can actually finish. I mean, this one’s less than an hour. And that’s long for them. This is Ascent Of Kings, a little micro-platformer you can beat in about 30 minutes,

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CGR Undertow – HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 review for Xbox 360

They should call this game How To Train Parents To Buy Lousy Games Just Because They’re Based On Stuff They Know About. I know, that’s a long name, but it’s also accurate. It has to be. Because there is no way anyone is buying this video game, with any prior knowledge about this video game. No freaking way. And if they are, they’re probably buying it as a joke gift, for a friend. You know? Or maybe a real gift

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CGR Undertow – THE BRIDGE review for Xbox 360

When I started playing this, I thought, “Holy crap, this is like a love letter to either Isaac Newton or M.C. Escher.” And then I kept playing. And I found out, “Holy crap, that’s actually what it is.” The Bridge is one of the coolest game concepts I’ve seen in a long time. And it doesn’t hurt that, you know…it’s a pretty good game, too. So, uh…history lesson, for those of us who didn’t pay attention in science and art.

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CGRundertow FUEL for Xbox 360 Video Game Review

Give me fuel, give me fire, give me…a different game to play. Please? It’s Fuel for the Xbox 360. You might expect this game to be pretty awesome. It’s got some really impressive technology, it’s got a massive game world…it’s from the publisher that brought you racers like Dirt and Grid. Codemasters always delivers quality racers, and they’ve packed a lot of good stuff under this one’s hood. Except for fun. Released back in 2009 for the Xbox 360 and

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