Hey what’s up with all these eye hand bosses?

*tropical music playing* Hey what’s the deal with video game bosses that have eyes in their hands? There are so many boss fights with the same basic scenario. A big monster has big hands and within those hands are eyes. They’ll try to smash you, but before they can do that, you gotta hit them in their palm ‘ball. Nintendo is the main offender when it comes to eye-hand bosses. We’ve got Mazaal, Gohdan, Eyerok, Knucklemaster, Andross is CLOSE but

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Resident Evil 3 (2020) – Easy Allies Review

Note: While Resident Evil Resistance is included with Resident Evil 3, we will be covering that game separately. Resident Evil has mutated radically since Nemesis first stalked the surviving S.T.A.R.S. members on PlayStation 1. The franchise has reinvented itself across diverse genres in sequels, spin-offs, and remakes but has never lost sight of the shadowy organizations playing God. Now, after the overwhelming success of last year’s RE 2 remake, Capcom looks to keep the momentum going with another trip to

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CGR Undertow – DLC QUEST: LIVE FREEMIUM OR DIE review for Xbox 360

Thank you for being a customer! DLC Quest: Live Freemium or Die is a game. It is a sequel to DLC Quest. Its genre is “platformer.” It is a satire. The object of the game is to collect coins, purchase abilities, and travel east. There are monsters attacking the townspeople. You must stop the monsters. Oh, blessed be. That stuff actually pained me to write it. Two years after the digital lampoon known as DLC Quest, the dark side of

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CGR Undertow – CHILD OF LIGHT review for Xbox 360

I’m gonna get it out of my system right now. OOOOOOHHHH, SWEET CHILD OF LIIIIIGHT! There. Now that that’s done, I can talk about Child of Light, a game that… I’m honestly kinda conflicted about. Seriously. There are elements here that speak to the old-school RPG fan in me. There are elements that incorporate newer ideas, like twin-stick manipulation in real-time of turn-based battles, which is an interesting concept. There’s also a very steep learning curve, which takes it back

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“Super Mario Odyssey” Non-Gamer/First-Time Gamer review

Let’s take a break from Super Smash Bros Ultimate to look at another Nintendo Switch game. One that’s a little over a year old. One that had a lot of press and hype behind it, complete with a vocal theme song. One that would seemingly go back to the open-ended exploration of its predecessors from many years ago. One that could potentially reinvent its long running franchise roots while celebrating them. That game is the most recent [as of this

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Doom Eternal – Easy Allies Review

Doom Eternal is essentially “Unbridled Fury: The Game.” Rarely does a project feel this staggeringly confident, and it’s even more of a suprise that such swagger is so fully justified. When thinking about the heavy legacy of a formative series like Doom and the success of the 2016 reboot, it wouldn’t be a stretch if Eternal felt like an expected iteration of what came before. What’s so remarkable, then, is how fearless it feels. The game blasts out the gate

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CGRundertow CABELA’S BIG GAME HUNTER: HUNTING PARTY for Xbox 360 Video Game Review

I hate to be blunt about it, but hunting games are pretty much all the same. They look the same, they play the same, they appeal to the same (audience, that is; that is, white people with pinkish necks), they play the same, they offend the same…wait, PETA is upset about Mario and not this? Oh, it was just a joke? Funny, so is this. Hashtag heartshot. It’s Cabela’s Big Game Hunter: Hunting Party. The funny thing about this game

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